Love Is Weird, yet It's Not
by TheNinePages
Summary: Yoshiki discovers that maybe, just maybe, he feels something a lot more than just "best friends." And Satoshi is an absolute blockhead. Or is it all just an act?
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter 1_**

Eighteen-year-old Yoshiki Kishinuma sighs, packing his messenger bag with notebooks. School's over and classroom 3-7 is empty. He feels slightly depressed, but that's a given as half of his friends, plus his favorite teacher, had died in a haunted school.

Satoshi is still his best friend. Shinozaki and Nakashima are being held in a mental facility. Yoshiki used to visit them from time to time in the last semester of his second year of high school and over the summer but doesn't do so anymore, not having the heart to.

The brunet stands up from his seat, massaging the arm that had been hit by a softball from physical education class. It will probably leave a nasty bruise tomorrow, but it's not like it matters—he's wearing long sleeves anyways.

Yoshiki walks down the empty hallway, enjoying the golden light of the sunset warming his skin.

He'd never forget his friends, but he eventually got over their deaths. He needs to treasure his life. That's what he promised himself.

The dark-haired boy descends the stairs to the landing of the first floor, walking towards the entrance of the school, but also the exit. He walks across the courtyard, blinking, seeing Satoshi's familiar tousled head. The boy turns around with a kind smile upon hearing Yoshiki approaching.

"Hey," he greets, once the other brunet is standing next to him.

"Hey yourself," Yoshiki says in return, smiling slightly in return.

As they walk side by side, the shorter brunet enjoys being near Satoshi's calming presence. He absentmindedly goes over the homework that was assigned today and wonders how he should split it up before and after work.

Satoshi glances at the other boy, and sees that he's zoning out. The brunet can tell by his glazed stormy eyes as the other stares ahead. He notices he's about the same height as Yoshiki, probably even taller, and smiles to himself.

"I like your real hair color," Satoshi remarks offhandedly.

Yoshiki snaps out of his daze, glancing at the other brunet with a confused expression. "Really? ...Thanks...I guess."

Yoshiki's hair is now a soft dark chocolate, darker than his own hair, and the other brunet finds that he favors it much more than his previous bleach-blond color.

They soon reach a break in the road, each going their own way.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Satoshi waves as he walks away, the other brunet waving in return.

Once he's out of sight, Yoshiki sighs, checking his watch. "I better get to work."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2_**

Satoshi sighs deeply, removing his shoes at the front door. He slowly straightens himself and listens closely. His mother is out, and he recalls Yuka telling him that she would be at her friend's house until dinnertime. The brunet releases a breath of relief, needing some alone time.

He climbs the stairs and opens the door to his room, dumping his messenger bag next to his desk. Satoshi goes to changing into a white v-neck and black white-accented basketball shorts, then collapses onto his desk chair.

Lately, he hasn't been feeling very...lively. You know? It's not like half of his friends had been slaughtered in a haunted elementary school, and the other half turned out to be schizophrenic.

...Why does he act around Yoshiki? The boy is his best friend, he should be able to spill his guts (not literally) to the other brunet...right?

He frowns, pulling out his history notebook.

"I wonder if he knows that I'm acting." The notion causes Satoshi to feel lightheaded. Does Yoshiki think he doesn't trust him, if so?

He exhales, opening his notebook and revealing scribbles all about Japan's history going back to the beginning of time.

I haven't visited Shinozaki or Naomi in a long time, he realizes.

_Naomi… _

His crush since their first year of middle school.

The girl he told Yuka he loved and couldn't live without.

The one he tried so hard and managed to save from that god-forsaken school.

Those are all true...but…

"I'm home, Sato!" Miho Mochida calls into the house. Satoshi startles out of his thoughts, standing from his chair and going downstairs to greet his mom.

"Welcome home, Mom," he greets with a small smile. She's carrying groceries on both arms, weary from their heavy weight. The brunet hurries over to give his mother a helping hand, and in return, the brunet woman gives her son a thankful smile.

"I take it school was tiring today?" she asks as they walk to the kitchen. Satoshi blinks.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Honey," Miho says, placing groceries next to the fridge and turning towards her son, who is placing his bags next to her's, "you look very tired. Is something wrong?" She places a warm hand on a milky cheek. Satoshi furrows his brow. Sometimes he wishes that he could cover up all his feelings and emotion.

"It's just...Naomi and Shinozaki," he replies, his voice strained. Miho knows about them and what had "happened," so why is she asking him what the problem is?

"Oh, Sato," she says, looking saddened, "I really don't understand how it feels, but...the least you could do is be there for them. Okay?" Satoshi nods. Miho smiles and pulls away.

"Now, how about you do your homework down here to keep your old mother company, while she makes dinner?"

"Sure thing, Mom." Satoshi goes back upstairs.

His mother is wrong. Being there for them is the most he could do. The most he could do, because it'll kill him to see Ayumi Shinozaki and Naomi Nakashima ever again.

Was it all just a mistake bringing both of them back? What would've happened if he didn't try, if he let his scared feelings overwhelm him?

As he sits down at the dining table, he wonders if it would've been better if he sacrificed himself for all of his friends' lives.

_Suzumoto...Morishige...Ms. Yui...Shinohara…Shinozaki...Naomi...Yuka...Yoshiki..._

_If he was the only one to die, alone, in HeaVEnly Host EleMenTarY ScHooL._


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

Yoshiki sneezes loudly, covering his mouth and nose—of course—with an elbow.

"Bless you, Kishinuma," his co-worker, Sunadori, says in surprise. "I hope you're not coming down with something."

"I highly doubt it." He sniffles slightly and feels his throat burn from the force of the sneeze, yet he continues to restock the shelves with cans of soup.

It's weird...like someone was thinking about him, but the brunet shrugs off the feeling. The warm feeling of someone thinking about him.

The grocery store Yoshiki works at has a light, lively atmosphere with friends chatting, families walking around, and small children playing chase. The grey-eyed boy has to step closer to the shelves as a little boy with brown hair and a little girl with a pigtails run by.

"Ah, to be young, huh," Sunadori says with a sigh.

Yoshiki smirks. "You're only two years older than me."

"Yes, but I haven't done any physical exercise since two years ago. I haven't got the time with college and all."

The brunet raises an eyebrow, done with stacking. "Are you sure it's not a little bug called 'being lazy'?"

The young black-haired man only grins, not denying Yoshiki's claim. "Maybe."

Yoshiki grabs another can, reaching high above himself and barely being able to shove the can into its rightful place.

"Uh-huh," he replies skeptically.

"It's terrible how they still make you kids run those endurance runs!" Sunadori exclaims, opening a box full of bags containing dried shiitake.

"They're only terrible if you sprint throughout the whole thing," Yoshiki quips. "I jog and still manage to get a pretty good time."

"How fast can you run?"

"Um...ten minutes."

Sunadori whips around. "What?!"

"Is it that surprising?" Yoshiki kneels down the supply the bottom shelves.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, you seem pretty athletic, but yet you're not."

"That doesn't make any sense, Sunadori." The black-haired man laughs, but doesn't say anything else.

Yoshiki continues to restock shelves in comfortable silence.

That's what he likes about Haruka Sunadori. He talks a lot and is a handful at times, but it definitely makes the atmosphere lighter. He knows when to stop talking and relishes silence when available.

He's very friendly, considering he and Yoshiki had hit it off when the brunette started working at the store since his first year in high school. Apparently, Haruka didn't want to depend on his parents too much to supply him with money for college, so he came up with this part-time job during his third year of high school.

Yoshiki sneezes again (covering his nose and mouth again, of course), shivering lightly when that pleasantly warm feeling washes over him again.

"I think you really are sick," Haruka says, casting a worried glance at the brunette.

"Maybe." Yoshiki smiles. "I'm fine, don't worry."

_What's with this feeling?_ He's never felt this feeling before in his life—an alien emotion.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4_**

Satoshi waits in front of Yoshiki's apartment complex at seven o'clock in the morning. Today is Friday—one more day until freedom!

The brunet stretches his arms above his head, popping all his joints back into place. He grimaces, rubbing his neck. This is going to be a very painful and uncomfortable day. Satoshi had fallen asleep at his desk, so his neck was in a weird position when he woke up.

"Hey, Satoshi," Yoshiki greets, walking down the small path leading from the apartment entrance to the sidewalk.

"Hi." The taller boy smiles sweetly. "I'm in so much pain right now."

"What _now_?" Yoshiki asks in mock exasperation as they walk to school.

"I fell asleep at my desk," he answers, feeling slightly embarrassed.

The shorter brunet laughs. "You need to take better care of yourself, man."

"Yeah," Satoshi says, grinning at Yoshiki.

Strangely enough, Yoshiki feels that warm feeling wash over him again. And, even worse, his cheeks feel a bit too warm to be their normally lightly-tanned color. He realizes something.

"...Do you think that myth, you know the one that when people think or talk about you, it makes you sneeze? Do you believe in that?"

"Hm…" Satoshi smiles slightly, almost nervously. "Why do you ask that?"

"I...I guess you can say I experienced it?" Yoshiki says it like a question. "I mean, I sneezed a lot yesterday and, no, I'm not coming down with a cold. I checked my temperature and everything…" Should he tell Satoshi about that weird...feeling? Eh, why the hell not, he's his best friend. "...And it didn't feel like a...normal sneeze."

"Uh, what do you mean?"

"After you sneeze, don't you feel kind of gross?" Satoshi nods in reply. "Yeah, well, I felt like I was wrapped up in ten jackets with two scarves."

"Is...that a good thing?" The taller boy laughs.

"Yeah, I guess so." Yoshiki smiles, and Satoshi finds himself relishing the abnormally soft smile coming from the other brunet.

_Maybe_, Yoshiki thinks as he catches Satoshi's eye and they both smile at each other, _maybe I am sick. _

Lovesick.

_The worst sickness of all, especially when he's in love with somebody else. And that someone is practically halfway to hell._

* * *

Satoshi sighs deeply, sitting down at his desk in classroom 3-9 and placing his bag down. It kind of sucks that he and Yoshiki aren't in the same class. It becomes pretty lonely with no one to talk to.

...Had Yoshiki known it was him? Thinking about him? It didn't seem like it, but the other brunet is a lot sharper than he lets on. He feels his face burn with embarrassment.

"Okay, class, settle down!" the teacher declares, and the students immediately cease all chatter. "Take out your history notes!"

Satoshi wills the blush spreading across his cheeks to go away. And that thought crosses his mind absentmindedly again:

_Yoshiki looks a lot better with a blush._

* * *

Yoshiki writes down his notes, copying the board, absorbing information the teacher is giving out to them. He exhales.

_In love with somebody who doesn't swing that way, _and _is in love with someone else. _

_Nice going, Yoshiki._


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5_**

Satoshi releases a deep breath, clutching onto the strap of his messenger bag and leaning against the wall of the school gates.

"Hey," Yoshiki greets. "You look tired. Something wrong?"

The taller brunet wonders if he should just give up trying to hide his emotions.

"Phys ed." But he lies right through his teeth. Yoshiki just nods in understanding, and Satoshi feels even worse for lying to his best friend.

Lying to the only person left who knows and understands.

"I know. The boys are _very _competitive about softball." He pulls up the sleeve of his gakuran jacket and dress shirt, revealing a dark juicy bruise forming on an area a little above his watch.

"Ow. That doesn't look good," Satoshi winces.

He wonders if Yoshiki knows about his lies.

"It doesn't feel good either." Yoshiki smiles slightly, pulling down his sleeves as they walk out of school property. "By the way, how's Yuka?" His stormy eyes are curious as they gaze at the other brunet. And though the look is purely questioning the well being of his sister, Satoshi feels as if he's scrutinizing him.

"She's doing well, but she's clingy than ever," Satoshi says dryly. "That's alright, I guess. I'm okay with it."

"You don't seem so 'okay,'" the smaller boy remarks with a small smile, but it soon fades. "Satoshi...are you alright about...Naomi?"

"Are you alright about Shinozaki?" he snaps back.

Yoshiki flinches slightly, suddenly scared of the usually passive boy. His stomach clenches anxiously at Satoshi's abruptly harsh behavior, and he can't help feeling like the brunet might physically hit him if this continues.

"Sorry," he says softly, looking down slightly. "I shouldn't have asked. As for Shinozaki...I can't say I feel bad that she ended up there." Satoshi stays silent, so he continues. "Was it really a good idea to meddle with something that should be left alone?"

"It wasn't smart on their part." The taller boy's voice is still strained.

"You're stressed, aren't you? That's why you're so tired," Yoshiki realizes. Satoshi frowns, but doesn't answer.

"...That's okay if you didn't feel like telling me," the shorter brunet says. "I'm not a very good person to confide, anyways. Unlike you, I'm not exactly what they call a 'people-person.'"

"There's a difference between actually liking a person, and just tolerating them." Satoshi sighs deeply, and the creases beneath his originally bright eyes are promptly noted. "I'm not exactly 'buddy-buddy' with a lot of people nowadays."

"So are you just tolerating me?" Yoshiki asks, suddenly feeling angry at the other boy. "What the hell's wrong with you? Have you been holding all this in the whole time? This isn't like you." His voice is getting shaky and—oh, this is bad—he can feel his eyes starting to burn with newly forming tears. "You're just a shell of what you used to be, dragging yourself through life. I really miss the Satoshi from eleventh grade. He would've tried. He would've tried to live."

Nothing. Silence.

"I'll see you tomorrow," the shorter of the two says as they reach the street where they part. Yoshiki briskly walks the other way, feeling slightly worse.

But it's all _true_.

_The ugly, nasty truth, and he had just realized it. How could he not see it? It was so painfully obvious._

The present Satoshi isn't the _real_ Satoshi Mochida.

Satoshi Mochida buried beneath all of the deaths of their friends, and underneath the fact that Naomi and Shinozaki are forever in a place where they can only see white. He's being drowned by a deep and scarring despair.

The "real" Satoshi, so to speak, the one who was a complete and utter nerd and who didn't waste a chance to put in his two, sarcastic, witty cents—gone.

Nowhere to be seen. And Yoshiki hates himself for not noticing that the other brunet has been blaming himself this whole time.

But he knows—he _knows_—that Satoshi is hiding very, very deep, afraid to come out.

Why is he afraid?

_'...He doesn't want to burden others with this because he thinks this is something he should deal with...he believes this is all his fault…and he'll just...break and snap underneath all the pain and agony.'_

The facade that Satoshi is hiding behind is holding up all the weight of, well, everything.

Yoshiki stops in front of his apartment complex.

"I need to crack him. I don't care if he goes insane. I'd rather have that than...this."

'_He's just building up stress until he'll be put into a mental asylum. I need to do something..._anything_. He obviously needs more help than he lets on.'_


End file.
